A Change in Plans

We planned to spend our last full day in London catching the most notable and famous sights of the city, including Buckingham Palace (changing of the guards is every other day in the winter at 11:30 am), Westminster Abbey, Parliament, Kensington Palace, the London Zoo, and Madame Tussuad's. But earlier at tea time at our hotel we met a fellow who was a former resident of London. He gave us the advice to take a day and tour Oxford. We thought it was a fairly long distance from London, it turned out to be less than an hour away by train. So we changed our plans and decided to spend the last full day in Oxford. We are glad we did. We headed there around 10 am, and after arriving, we walked about 10 minutes from the train station to the heart of town. It is a very charming town with lots of old buildings dating back to 600 A.D. interspersed are many shops along the streets, many of which are closed off to automobiles and it was nice to walk down the cobblestone streets and tour the town. But our biggest highlight would be to find parts of Oxford where Harry Potter filmed on location. The girls were not disappointed, not as they were during the London Walk. We found at least 3 areas of the college and church area where the girls could distinctly recall where parts of the movie had been filmed. The actual dining hall in the movie was a recreation, but the hall that inspired the look and feel was in a place call Christ Church. You could tell how much it inspired the set design in the movie, it was fantastic. The actual stairwell leading up to the dining hall was used in several movies and the girls enjoyed getting their photos taken there. We also found a common area on the church grounds that supposedly was used for exterior shots of Hogwarts castle. Another great find for the girls. We did a little shopping and found some great items. And last but not least, we found another great pub called the 4 Candles, where we would once again dine on fish and chips and relax in the warmth of the pub. Today was a good day for all.

Tomorrow: Returning to Paris for New Year's Eve.

London - Harrods and Harry Potter

Today, Sunday December 28th, was our first major shopping day in London. We would venture out to Oxford Street, where loads and loads of boutiques were holding their annual "After Christmas" sales. I thought I knew what crowded was, but I'd never experienced anything quite like this. It was back-to-front, wall-to-wall people. Our first stop was a shoe store, one of our daughters has been wanting a pair of Converse shoes that are difficult to find back home. But it was so overwhelmingly crowded, that she said, "Forget it", and we continued walking down the street window shopping. We did stop at a few souvenir stalls to pick up some trinkets at a reasonable price. And then, we took another double decker bus to - "Harrods Biggest Sale of the Year!" If it is possible, the crowd at Harrods was even worse than on Oxford Street. If you aren't tall, it was claustrophobic. The only section that seemed to have any room for wiggle was the children's bookstore, which was a great relief. All three of the girls wanted to purchase some Harry Potter books from the U.K. as the content is different than that in the U.S.A. But the worse was yet to come. I wanted to go to the Food Hall, and that was a catastrophe. We nearly lost one of our daughters, but found her near the candy section. We made a few purchases, and I would have loved to stay and look longer for more sales, but my children (and husband) just could not tolerate it, they had to gasp for air outside. That would be our only shopping trip to the famous Harrods, but at least we made it there.

We caught another double decker to drop our loot off at the hotel. We rested only briefly as we scheduled a guided Harry Potter walk of London. We took the Underground to the Embankment exit where we would hook up with the guide and other spectators. The guide was expecting about 40 people, it turned out there were at least 100. All of my girls are huge Harry Potter fans, and were expecting to see the sights around London that inspired the series. The guide, Alan, is supposedly a former actor, as are many of the guides in http://www.londonwalks.com/. Everyone was anticipating an engaging tour while walking to many real sights around London that inspired the book. However, my husband and I were underwhelmed and did not find this to be worthwhile or feel we would recommend it to anyone planning this type of tour. The girls did find it interesting, he did perform some magic tricks throughout the tour. But it left everyone feeling a bit ripped off compared to the description that details the tour on the website. The only part of the tour that the girls liked was when we walked to a location described in the book that takes you to what would be the Ministry of Magic. There is a fairly graphic description telling you what alleys and streets to walk down, and to look for a traditional London public phone booth. We did find the phone booth, and someone from the group was asked to dial the number (which spells "Magic"). The guide "magically" created some fog in the booth which is what is supposed to happen after dialing the number, and apparate the person inside the building. After two hours of walking down alleyways, and areas that could have inspired parts of the book, we were relieved to have the tour end. With an abrupt "good bye", we were left to find our way back to an underground exit. Everyone was hungry, so we searched for a pub for some fish and chips. We were directed by a local to what he said was his favorite pub for this dish, and gladly warmed up once inside. It was a wonderful pub, just as you would imagine a British pub to be with red velvet chairs, wooden tables, fireplace and worn woolen carpet. Of course there was also the wooden bar and lots of beer to choose from. We all ordered a plate of fish and chips and mushy peas. It warmed our insides and put a smile back on our faces. It was a great way to end our day of shopping and walking in the cold, biting air.

The next day in London we toured the British Museum. Like the Lourve in Paris, this is a museum not to be missed on your trip to either city. These museums have so many historic relics, it is astounding. The museum was easily reached via a double decker bus or the Underground. I prefer the double deckers to the Underground as we can see various sights along the way.

As you enter the gate to the museum, you may find a few protestors from various countries who claim their relics were stolen by the British. That withstanding, the crowds are plenty, at least the entrance is free for children and adults alike. Almost immediately, we found the famous Rosetta Stone, with crowds on all four sides of the glass cube protecting it. An explanation of the Rosetta Stone from the British Museum website explains: "The young French scholar Jean-Francois Champollion (1790-1832) made a crucial step in understanding ancient Egyptian writing when he pieced together the alphabet of hieroglyphs that was used to write the names of non-Egyptian rulers. He announced his discovery, which had been based on analysis of the Rosetta Stone and other texts, in a paper at the Academie des Inscriptions et Belles Lettres at Paris on Friday 27 September 1822."

Room 4, where the Rosetta Stone is housed, is where many other Egyptian relics are housed. These contents are jaw dropping.

At this point, just a few minutes into our time at the museum, two of my children already started showing signs of disinterest (sad to say). So my husband and I decided to get our walkie-talkies out, and split up. He went with our oldest daughter who had stronger interest in the relics, while I went with my younger two. We found our way to the mummies section, which was packed with people. However, we did see Cleopatra's mummified body, as well as the famous mummy cat and fish! That began to peak their interest.

Next we went to the Clocks and Watches exhibit, and that really caught their interest. In this section there are mechanical clocks that were invented in Western Europe in the medieval period and were first used in cathedrals and churches. Room 39 traces their development from these earliest examples to complex. Many of them, while very old, are in working condition. They are encased in glass, but if you get right next to one, you can hear the bells chime and watch the mechinisms in action. Our favorite clock was the medieval galleon from 1585, whose purpose was to announce banquets at court. The entertainment began with music from a miniature organ in the hull, drumming and a procession. Afterward the ship would travel across the table. When it stopped, the front cannon would fire. The mechanics are just tremendous.

At this point, appropriately, it was time to leave. The 3 of us returned to our hotel where much needed downtime was in store. We regrouped there with my husband and eldest daughter and all of us unwound by having tea at the hotel. Then, around 8:30 pm, we would head out once more to the Tower of London and see the Ceremony of the Keys. This is a wonderful chance to see first hand the guard ceremony where they lock up the crown jewels as they have without fail for over 700 years. If you don't have the chance to see the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, this is a great way to see the royal guards with their full regalia and get closer to the action. Only about 50 people are allowed per evening to see this display. To see the Ceremony of the Keys, you need to write about 2 months in advance of your visit. The tickets are free, but only about 50 people per evening are allowed to view this ceremony. To get more information and to apply for free tickets, click on the link above.

December 27, From Paris to London

One of my daughters made us all laugh when their Daddy bent over to pick something up, and said, "I see London, I see France, I see Daddy's underpants". It was perfect timing and so funny considering our travel itinerary. I'm still laughing about it.

Anyway, on December 27 our family would sojourn yet again, this time to London for 4 nights. We took the Chunnel, otherwise known as the Eurostar, as our mode of transportation. I imagined a very modern train that would be under water for the majority of time. I was surprised to learn that the train was not exceedingly modern, although it was very nice and clean. And we were above ground as long, if not longer, than underground. Our ears popped as we descended in through the tunnel. The total train ride was just about 2 hours, a very quick ride from Paris to London. The benefit of taking the Eurostar as opposed to flying is you are right in London when you arrive, and can easily get connect to the Underground, London's metro, to your destination. We rode first class, but had some difficulty with our tickets. It turned out our original train was cancelled, and they placed us on another train which meant we were not sitting together. We scrambled and tried to ask the conductor for assistance, but there were not much help to us or other passengers and families who had the same issue. So we just made do with our situation and were glad we were on the same train and that it was a short ride.

We arrived in St. Pancras, which is across from Kings Cross. For Harry Potter fans, which all 3 of my daughters are, we had to go there immediately to see track 9 3/4, the famous spot where Harry meets up with Ron Weasley for the first time and magically goes through the column separating tracks 9 and 10. Todya there is a famous spot for taking photos where a trolley appears to be going through the wall (see photo above). The girls all had their chance to get a photo there.

We took the underground to our hotel which is in a section of London called Maida Vale (pronounced May-Da Vayel). It is near Abbey Road, where the Beatles have a famous photo walking along that road. Today many recording artists still produce work in that studio. For our first evening there, we found a double decker that took us all around town very conveniently, picking us up near the front of our hotel and dropping us off there too. But first we were able to meet up with friends from 15 years ago when we lived in Amsterdam. We went to a very scrumptious Iranian restaurant that served all sorts of kabobs and we were very satiated. It was a good way to end our day, and prepare us for the next day, Harrods biggest sale of the year!

Tomorrow: Harrods packed house

Christmas and the Day after in Paris

Christmas in Paris - what a wonderful experience it has been. We have been very fortunate to have clear weather, but it is extremely cold. Despite the freezing air, we are up and about by 10 am, and head to the metro for our next excursion.

Our priority for Christmas Day in Paris was to attend church service at the Notre Dame. We learned that the 11:30 service was what they call an international service. We got there about 30 minutes before the start of the mass. There was a line to get in, but it moved quickly and we found seats toward the front of the pulpit. They have flat panel screens in various parts of the church so the congregation could see it since so many large marble columns block direct view. The priest spoke at various times in French, Dutch, Latin and English. At the very end of the service, he said Merry Christmas in multiple languages flawlessly, including Mandarin!

They don't allow filming or photos while they conduct mass. I wish I could have recorded a video, the soloist gave us all chills; the acoustics are amazing. The organist played with emotion, it sounded like a piece from Phantom of the Opera, it was incredible.

After service, we found our way to the Latin Quarter, we really loved that section of town. There were many crepe stands around, and plenty of souvenir shops where we tried bargaining and sifting through interesting merchandise. Sainte Chapelle, across from the Notre Dame, was closed on Christmas Day, so we ended up seeing it the day after Christmas. Sainte Chapelle was built by Louis IX in the 1240's to house relics from the Holy Land including what is believed to be the Crown of Thorns and part of the True Cross, this small Gothic chapel is one of the inspiring visual experiences of Paris. Much of this is due to its stained glass windows, which essentially surround the entire upper floor. That section is breathtaking.

Tomorrow: Taking the Chunnel to London

Paris Day 3

On day 3 of our visit to Paris, we had no plans other than to spend an entire day at the Louvre. Good intentions, but I forgot, we have 3 children of various ages and interest levels. For the record, let it be known that 2 of my 3 children have low cultural values and were quickly in a comatose state from so much rare and priceless pieces of art and antiquities. No matter how interesting we tried to explain the history about a piece of art, they just wanted to hit the souvenir stores and eat baguettes. Quite humiliating that these are my children. Then again, I was probably like them at their age. But 3 out of 5 of us won out, and we toured as much as possible of this incredible Musee du Louvre. We went on December 24th, and fortunately the weather has held up for us, it's been clear but very cold. The ticket lines moved quickly and the prices are quite reasonable, we only had to pay for 2 adults as children under 17 are free - oh, and the unemployed also are free. We saw most of the highlights, including the Mona Lisa, the Winged Victory of Samothrace, Aphrodite (also known as Venus de Milo), the Midieval Lourve (which is a temporary exhibit), the Egyptian antiquities, the Coronation Crown of Louis the XV and the famous portrait of Napolean, where he has his hand stuck between his coat and chest. The collection is just incredible, you can't go in without being amazed and humbled by the geniuses that produced this art.

There is a reasonable cafe under the pyramid, that is as far as museum cafes go. The girls got an Orangina, which are very popular here, for 3 Euros. I got a small salad for 3.5 Euros. After about 3 hours in the museum, the one thing that did get to everyone is the overwhelming number of people make it incredibly stuffy inside, and we just had to get outside to get some air. I can't imagine what it must be like in the summer! Once we were outside, we were overtaken by street vendors selling their wares including Eiffel Tower replicas of all sizes, berets and keychains. We were able to bargain and purchase a few. It was a bright, sunny day, so we ended up staying outside and walked the grounds, and proceeded to the Champs Elyses where the Marché de Noël were still selling their goods, and we grabbed a chocolat crepe, for 3 Euros. Those are so delicious and warm!

The girls all wanted to do some shopping, so we headed to a street to look for some small shops. I have to say, the prices seem relatively high compared to the US equivalent. We were in neighborhoods where the locals shop; the drugstore items and clothes are about 10% to 15% higher than their US counterparts. We walked away empty handed, hoping to find more bargains tomorrow, when we visit the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame. Stay tuned....

Paris Day 1 and 2

We arrived in Paris via the a from Amsterdam. We purchased reserved seating which guarantees a seat but you do pay a little extra for that convenience. The train ride was very smooth. We had 4 seats, two across that face the other two. The fifth seat was across the aisle. We purchased some broodjes, sandwiches in Dutch, and drinks to take aboard the train. The girls were still jet lagged, and slept a good part of the train ride. We really enjoy taking the trains and find it relaxing and a nice way to see the scenery. My husband prefers not to drive so he can relax during the trip too.

We arrived on time at the Gare de Nord station in Paris. One of the girls had to use the WC, or water closet. It cost 1 Euro to use it, so she said she could wait. Boys are only half a Euro, what's with that?

Anyway, again we held tight to our motto, "public transportation only", and tried to take the metro all the way to the west side of town to Paris-Neuilly where our hotel is situated. This required lots of up and down the stairs with our luggage, and asking mulitple times for directions in our broken French. Somehow we managed to get as close to the hotel as possible, but broke down in the end and got a cab the rest of the way to the hotel. The cab driver charged us an extra 1 Euro per bag even though he didn't even help with the baggage. Merde!

The hotel is very nice, we requested a suite. I highly recommend securing one if traveling with children. You definitely want to have the ability to spread out. Once we unpacked and got our gear in order, we set off by metro to find the Marché de Noël, or Christmas Markets. By this time, it was close to 5 pm, perfect timing to see the city holiday lights. We took the 1 metro and took it to Concorde exit, walked a few metres and located the large ferris wheel on the boulevard. From there we located the Champs Elyses Marché de Noël, amid the beautiful lights down the boulevard. There were over 100 vendors selling knitted hats and scarves, jewelry, toys and the best of all, crepes of all flavors. We sampled chocolate, sucre and ham and cheese. Délicieux! The girls also got a bag of french candies, unusual ones we'd never seen in the U.S. It's a good thing we are walking so much to burn away all these French calories.

The marche's eventually lead you down to the famous shops on the Champs Elyses. We finally ended our journey at the Arc de Triomphe. From there we would take the metro back to our hotel. We are quickly getting used to the time here, the girls ended up staying awake watching Sponge Bob and Disney cartoons in French. Bonne nuit.

Tomorrow, the Lourve!

European Vacation - Amsterdam

Day 1 and 2 of our travels to Europe (December 21-22) - USA to Amsterdam

I realize now, that any good trip that involves air travel is a lot like giving birth. You look forward to the destination, but forget what a pain it is to get there. Our travels will take us to Amsterdam, Paris and London – just like my motherhood would take me to 3 lovely daughters. But getting here was painful. Our trip from San Francisco to Chicago was uneventful. But our trip from Chicago to Amsterdam was 4 hours late and filled with crying babies in the row ahead of us, and an elderly couple coughing their way across the Atlantic. One big thing I forgot and want to remind all of you to do is bring lots of snacks because waiting and waiting will make you hungry. It cost me five dollars to buy something that would cost a dollar at home. So remember, bring snacks! Fruit, candy, pretzels – something!

Anyway, the good side of our delay was it meant our hotel room would be ready to check into when we landed. Otherwise if we were on time, we would have had to check our bags with the bell hop at the hotel without showering, and sight see while completely wiped out. So at least we did get to check in, get our bags settled, take showers, and embark on sightseeing after completely reinvigorating ourselves.

Before I forget, I must say Amsterdam Schipol airport is very convenient. We got through customs very quickly, and conveniently found the train that would take us to Amsterdam Centraal station. From there we would take a tram that would take us to our Marriott Hotel across from the Leidesplien, which is a nice, touristy part of town. We are trying to take local transportation whenever possible. We did not rent a car. We conveniently walked from our hotel room to the Rijks Museum, a famous museum with many lovely Rembrandt paintings. Children under the age of 18 are free; that was a bonus to us. The building itself was under quite a bit of renovation, quite a mess outside. It only houses 2 floors of collections, so you can get through it in about an hour. Right next to the Rijks Museum is the Van Gogh museum but we passed on that in order to take a walk down memory lane and visit the neighborhood where we used to live 15 years ago. It was interesting to discover that we remembered which tram to take, where to disembark, and how to walk from the tram stop to our neighborhood as if it were yesterday. A few stores had changed, but for the most part, all was as we remembered it. Even the Italian restaurant where we frequented was still there, a place call L’Arena. We took the girls there and ate some lovely, just fired, thin crust pizza with home-made Italian sausage. It was delectable. Here, you have to remember that water doesn’t come free, we had to buy no-gas water to quench our thirst. Also, service is included in the bill, but tipping is still expected.

After dinner, we walked to a few stores we used to go to, the cheese shop, bakery, and meat stores were the same. We purchased a few baked goods to take to our hotel room for snacking. Yummy!

We were done with sightseeing and going down memory lane by 6 pm. We were so tired we went back to the hotel to crash. We could not stay awake any longer, and at least we made it this long before we went to sleep. The first night is tough with the time difference, we slept for a few hours, someone would wake up and go to he bathroom, go back to sleep, then someone else would wake up and go to the bathroom, then go back to bed. We would all awake at 4 in the morning and check email and start blogging away.

I have to give my kids a big hug for being such troopers, they tolerated the delays and crying baby. They each lugged their bags through each airport, into town and held up rather nicely through the jet lag. They are anticipating London the most, since they are huge Harry Potter fans. I've scheduled a Harry Potter walk through www.walks.com, so I'll give you an update on how interesting that turns out to be.

Meanwhile - we are settled in our Paris hotel off of Boulevard de Victor Hugo. I'll provide a Paris update in the next blog entry. Meanwhile - bon jour!

Is the Secret Out?

Uh-oh, I think my kids may have found Santa's goodies in our extra bedroom closet. I went to what I thought was my secret hiding place to pull out some more gifts that needed to be wrapped and the huge basket of junk that I had strategically placed in front of the doors was moved aside and the closet door was open. I think the kids were looking for stickers (which I keep in a box in the closet) to decorate our dog's plastic "don't chew your stitches" cone. Side note--she was spade last week and is having trouble leaving her incision alone. Anyway, I have moved the presents and am not sure if I should:
a. Play detective and casually ask the kids where they found the stickers to decorate LuLu's cone.
b. Re-wrap the presents that I think they may have seen so as to throw them off Santa's scent.
c. If on Christmas Day they say "I saw those presents from Santa in the closet" feign ingnorance and say "Presents, what presents?"
d. Just stay quiet.

Maybe I should just remind them that sometimes even Santa needs a little help and on occasion we moms pitch in to lighten his load!

Top 10 Things I Love About the Holidays

I was thinking about how much I love the holiday season. I know it can be very hectic and stressful, but overall I look forward to Christmas and New Years every year. I thought I'd write my list of what I enjoy most during this glorious season. What tops your list?

1. Pulling out all of my Christmas decorations and decorating the house. My mom always had my childhood home decorated in all it's Christmas glory. I think that is why I love digging through all of my goodies and putting touches of holiday sparkle throughout my house. It is also a treat to see what after Christmas bargain I bought last year and forgot about.

2. Listening to the Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan's version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. This song is so great. My kids LOVE it. They sing it at the top of their lungs and it makes me beam from ear to ear. If you have not heard it you must download it right now--it is that good! Here is a link--your toes will be tapping soon! http://www.ilike.com/artist/Barenaked+Ladies+Feat.+Sarah+McLachlan

3. Going to and/or hosting Christmas Crafting Parties. I love to get my craft on. I don't think I'm necessarily that creative but I am good at copying things. My mom taught me how to make a pretty decent bow and I enjoy giving ribbon a good twist! The holidays allow me to bring out my inner Martha.

4. Cookie Exchanges. I don't mind baking 6 or even 10 dozen cookies. Despite my earlier post, I really do enjoy baking for the holidays. Cookie parties are terrific--you walk in with 6 dozen of the same cookie and leave with a wonderful variety of cookies---most of which were more time consuming to bake then mine.

5. Holiday Cocktail Parties. Whether we host one or attend another, I enjoy celebrating the holidays with friends and a yummy Christmas Cosmo in hand.

6. Finding the Perfect Christmas Tree. We head into the Los Gatos mountains every year with friends to seek out the perfect tree. We arrive at the tree farm with mimosas, bagels and a good hand saw. The kids have a great time running up and down the hills. They are not that interested in finding the tree. I trudge around looking at this one and that. I usually find the perfect one but by the time I find my husband to tell him it is time to make the commitment, I can't find it again. Luckily there is always another perfect tree around the corner.

7. The Y-Guides Ice-Skating Party. The hot chocolate, the cookies, the scraping of the blades on ice---I love it! My kids are learning to skate. At the beginning of the evening they are hugging the walls for dear life but after a few laps they get their Wayne Gretsky on.

8. Watching A Christmas Story. "You'll shoot your eye out." That line never gets old. I LOVE this movie. It is so funny. I remember watching this in college with all of my girlfriends and roaring with laughter when Flick's tongue gets stuck to the flagpole. There are so many hilarious moments in this movie. If you have not seen it, run don't walk to your nearest Blockbuster! Or you'll usually find it running for 24hrs on TBS on Christmas Eve.

9. Wrapping presents with my husband on Christmas Eve. After the kids have all gone to bed, we stay up and have a cocktail or two and wrap the remaining presents. My husband is very good at wrapping presents--very precise and meticulous. I tend to cut too much paper and end up making it work. He would definitely win in a "wrap off."

10. Waking up Christmas morning. My husband always gets up extra early to light a fire and turn all of the Christmas lights on. I love how he creates that Christmas ambiance for us. If the kids wake up before 7 a.m. (and usually it is), we all gather in our bed and discuss what we think Santa brought us (I try to drag out this time as long as I can). The anticipation eventually becomes too great and they all barrel down the stairs squealing in delight to see what is under the tree.

Family Travels

Over the next two weeks, my family of 5 will be traveling to Europe. We will chronicle our travels on this blog with the intent to share any notable tips and tricks for families going abroad. We will blog about what's fun to do with children in these cities ranging in age from 10 to 17. Our itinerary includes Amsterdam (where we lived 15 years ago), Paris and London. We planned this vacation as sort of a rite of passage, primarily for our 17 year old daughter who is a senior in high school this year. We have a 13 year old and a 10 year old, and recognize that our time with each child is fleeting. The days where they were purely and soley dependant on me as a parent is coming to a screeching halt, it seems. So our vacations become even more important to us as they have a way of creating incredible memories and strenghtening our bonds.

Stay tuned as this blog follows us on our travels to Europe, December 21, 2008 through January 2, 2009. We'll be bringing in the new year from Paris, France! Meanwhile - keep an eye out on other fun reading from my blogging partner. Where will you be this holiday season?

I Met My Multi-Tasking Match!

I like to think of myself as a pretty good multi-tasker. Like many of you, I can make dinner, do the laundry, help the kids with homework, let the dog out to do her business, and take a phone call or two all at the same time. What I realized this week is that baking cookies can not be part of my multi-tasking mix. This became apparent while making 6 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange. I had a lot of work to do. I figured my signature 7 layer bars (o.k. it's just the recipe from the Eagle condensed milk can) would be a snap to whip up. I was making layer #1--the graham cracker crust and had my butter melting (on the simmer setting) and then decided I would do a little Facebooking (is that a verb?). While doing that I started a chat session with my sister (I didn't even realize you could do that on Facebook) and the next thing you know, my butter was burning. I knew in the back of my mind I should go check on it, but I kept thinking one more minute won't hurt. The smoke finally got to me, so I ran through the dark cloud forming in my kitchen to find my 1/2 cup of butter blackening my nice saute pan. O.k. I thought, I must pay more attention. My next stick of butter was ready to go. A simmer setting, an eye on the pan and I'd be back on track. I'd get those bars made come hell or high water. Things were going smoothly. Two pans of bars were out of the oven cooling off. I was in the homestretch. I decided to make one more pan so my bars would not be too skimpy. I started again with layer #1 and my graham cracker crust waited to be patted into my 9 x 13 pan. But then my son asked if he could make Jello. He needed hot water and what did I do? I turned the flame on underneath my ready to go graham cracker crust instead of the tea kettle and burnt it to an inedible crisp. Darn it! (not my thoughts exactly), time to start over again! Thankfully the third time was a charm. My last batch of bars made it in and out of the oven without one black patch! I was done! 6 dozen bars cooled on my counter, 3 hours, two sticks of butter in the trash and one headache later! And in case you are wondering, the 7 layer bars were a hit!

The Most Important Gifts of All

This holiday season, for a variety of reasons, I am more grateful than ever. Despite the falling economy, despite the constant, depressing headlines, and despite Britney Spears's supposed comeback, I am truly grateful for the gifts that money, bad news and bad pop icons just can't alter.

The gifts I am most grateful for this holiday season have the qualities of a good riddle. Riddle me this: What is intangible, most often temporary, but rich beyond any measure you can dream of? All of the things I am most grateful for can be the answer to this riddle. First, an incredible gift I have at this moment is the gift of having my mother live with my family, creating a multi-generational household. This is something that is becoming more prevalent as 'us' baby boomers move up the chain. Second, I am grateful for a loving husband who keeps me laughing after all these years. It's as if I have my own personal stand-up comedian (but let me make this abundantly clear: he would have me clarify that he is a comedian in the living room, but a lover in the bedroom, although I do laugh alot there). Third, I'm grateful for the elusive gift of time with my 3 children, an opportunity made possible by the offer of a severance package last year. And last but not least, the gift that I am a thousand times grateful for, that is often taken for granted, is my health and the good health of my loved ones.

I recall when I was about 13 years of age, the holidays and gift receiving lost some of the aura I remembered as a young child. The excitement of being roused by my older brothers and sister when I was 5 and racing to see the myriad of gifts under the tree gradually faded away as we entered our teenage years. It wasn't until I had children of my own that I re-experienced the awe and wonder I had as a child. As a parent, my memories resurfaced and I was excited to recreate that awe and form new family traditions with my 3 daughters. I was immersed in the tangible gifts, the plastic and often deafening toys, the wrapping and unwrapping, the things that money could buy. But somehow, as if handed the reigns of wisdom along with the delivery of my AARP card, it's as if I am doomed or deemed to be more sage and recognize that the most important gifts are those we cannot buy. And to pass the recognition of this knowledge to the next generation. It isn't Guitar Hero World Tour for the Wii that my 13 year old daughter really, really wants and thinks will create long-term happiness, but those intangible gifts that we should be grateful for on a daily basis that matter. But the realization of this may not become apparent until you become a parent. What's important to you this time of year?

Finding One on One Time

I have four wonderful kids and one thing that makes me feel guilty (among the many--my list is long) is that I don’t spend enough one on one time with each of them. I sometimes think that they each secretly wish that they were an only child. A couple of them have actually made that statement in the heat of the moment. I knew they didn’t really mean it. When push comes to shove, they like having their brothers and sister. They always have a soccer mate, there is always someone willing to play the drums in Rock Band, they always have someone to help catch bugs, and they can do a sleepover at a moment’s notice. Their lives are very rich because of the companionship their siblings bring (at least that is what I tell myself and them when they are battling it out). But the struggle remains the same, how can I give them more individual attention?

I do steal moments with each when I can. If a few kids are busy with playdates, I try and do something special with whoever is remaining. When my son has his late start day at school, we sometimes go for coffee and hot chocolate before drop off. And when we have these limited moments together, it always feels so good. I love the smiles I receive. The “thank you mommy” that I hear when I get them a hot chocolate or Jamba Juice. They truly enjoy getting to do something on their own with out the gang in tow.

Sneaking in these little outings is great, but I want to do something more planned and more specific to each child's interests. So my husband I came up with a plan. We decided that we would give each child a “special day” (once a month) where they can pick which parent they want to hang out with and what activity they would like to do. The one rule is that this time is not about buying toys. No presents allowed. They all were thrilled with the idea and wanted to be the first one to have their “special day.” We started this new activity two weekends ago and so far so good. I spent the afternoon with one of my sons. He wanted to get a hot chocolate with me at Starbucks. We sipped our drinks and talked about school, what he wanted from Santa, and what he’d like for dinner. It was so sweet. When I asked him who his best friend was, he told me it was me (sniff, sniff). We then went to Blockbuster where he picked out a movie to rent. It is always difficult to decide on a movie with four kids’ opinions. He loved the fact that he didn’t have to consult with anyone. That same weekend, my husband took our older son to the Raider’s game with a few other dads and sons. They loved it—the tailgating, seeing those crazy Raiders fans, and the crash of the helmets. This past weekend, it was #3 & #4's turn. They were SOOOO excited about their special day. They had been thinking of what they wanted to do all week. My son decided that he wanted to play tennis and go out for yogurt with his dad. He loved batting the ball around and working on his swing. He was so excited to come home and tell me about his day. My daughter and I had our special day too. We made a Christmas project together and went and had lunch out. She held my hand the whole time and told me how much she loved me (again-sniff, sniff).

I’m very excited to continue these “special day” outings with my kids. I’m looking forward to hearing what they want to do next month. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter, it’s just being together that makes it so wonderful.

Falling Grades--How Do You Motivate Your Child?

I was talking to my good friend today about the troubles she is having with her son and school. In short, her son’s grades are falling behind. The kid is smart. He has the ability. His decline is due to a variety of reasons—the main one being apathy. He just doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t turn in homework, sometimes he doesn’t even bother to do it and he has resorted to lying about his work load. To prevent his grades from slipping further, my friend has sent emails to his teachers asking for help, she has checked assignments on his teachers’ websites (those who have one), she has reviewed his daily planner, and she has made sure that he has completed his work each night (the assignments she knows of). She has done everything short of attending his classes with him. She has also tried rewards and punishments. Neither strategy seems to work. She cannot find the “magic bullet” that will motivate him to try harder.

I understand her frustration. As parents we are constantly asking ourselves, “How can I motivate my child to do better?” “How do I teach him that he needs to try his best?” In general, I feel that a fire from within develops in each child in their own time. It's waiting for the spark that can be excruciating. We try so hard to fan the flames. And my friend is certainly doing that. It is clear that she cares deeply about her son and his success in school. She is relentless in her quest to turn him around and get him on the right path. I admire her willpower and her conviction that her son CAN and WILL do better. She will not give up. I know it is aggravating for her now (and headache inducing), but her diligence and perseverance will pay off--I'm sure of it!

Share Your Story
Have you experienced this kind of indifference? What have you done to help motivate your child?

Winter Holiday Cards & Newsletters

It's time for that annual winter competition - taking bets on who will be the first to get their holiday card or newsletter out the chute. When our children were first born and I was working full time, I would print a hundred copies of our annual family portrait and barely scribble our signature at the bottom. Even now we get cards from a few friends who don't even sign their card, they figure we'll know who sent it from the return address label on the envelop. But what I always like best are those long, Tolstoy-inspired newsletters that wrap up every single event that happened that year. In font size 2 - the same size as a footnote. I'm actually guilty of this and love to write a newsletter that goes over the highlights of the year about my family. Intially it began as a way to keep in touch with friends and relatives. But over the years it has evolved as more of a family journal, perhaps even a family blog, about what I want my family to remember for years to come.

Believe it or not, I tend to keep all of the cards we have gotten for the past 15 years or so. Several friends mail a traditional family portrait and I was able to shrink years of those photos to a thumbnail size and create a memory bracelet with them. They were shocked to get it. That's probably because they tossed my newsletter in the trash before reading it. That's OK by me. I send it not with the hope that they will read it word-for-word, but that they know our family is thinking of them during this time of year. And though we may not see each other daily or even monthly - they are friends we know we can synch up with immediately as if time never passed us by. Even if they didn't read my holiday newsletter.

I remember when I was a little girl and it was my parents that would get lots of holiday cards in the mail. I loved going to the mail box and joyously count how many cards came that day and help open them up. My mother is now 81, and her holiday mail has shrunk considerably as so many of her peers have passed on. And the superfluous list of friends has faded and only the true friends who withstood the test of time remain.

So the way I see it, holiday cards and newsletters are a symbol of friendship. Facebook and other social networking sites will start taking the place of a long newsletter and will point friends and relatives to updates instead. Or to a blog. How will you stay in touch this holiday season?