I love sales. I love getting a bargain and the high it brings. I’ve been known to come home with various goodies that I didn’t need just because they are available at deep discounts. I rationalize these purchases by telling myself things like: I’m getting 3 for the price of one or maybe one of my friends will want this too or this will make a terrific gift. I’m great at talking myself into a deal. But am I willing to get up at 3:30 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving just to save some bucks? No Way! That is where I draw the line. I like my sleep. I can’t imagine setting my alarm clock and rolling out of bed to get the extra Roll Back savings at Walmart, or the Doorbuster item at Best Buy. The thought of being in a crowd, elbowing my way to get the “hot buy” available during the “six hours of savings” makes me cringe. I just can’t do it. I always thought those who did were a little on the nutty side until today when I talked to my sister and she told me of her after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza. Yep, she was one of them. She and a few of her friends did the unthinkable---they headed out to the mall at 3:30 a.m. (in the Midwest no less) to load up on Black Friday booty. All and all it sounded like she had a lot of fun. She was able to bond with friends over the thrill of the bargain and she got most of her Christmas shopping out of the way by noon. And as she told me about her loot —the electric Jeep she got for $80 (regularly $200), the iPod ready rocking chairs for $30 (regularly $100), the digital camera for $60 (regularly $150), I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy or was that regret?
Share Your Story
Would you be tempted to shop before the crack of dawn? If you have, what was your quest? Come on, tell us your story!!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Power of Gratitude
As we go through our daily lives, it is not always instinctive to stop and remember all of the things we should be grateful for. We drive to work in our luxury cars but have road rage instead of being thankful for having a job in this economy; we watch kids tag along on a shopping trip with mommy who then proceed to scream because they want that toy; we see or have teens who have cell phones, computers, even cars purchased by their parents then fail to help out around the house and freely talk back to their parents. These, hopefully, are extreme cases. But I recognize in my own family that my kids should do more around the house without the whining that goes along with it and without my nagging them to do it. Is our society different than other countries? Are those that have more, - more grateful? Or are those that have less more grateful?
Ever since my children were very little, we started a tradition where we would all gather on the master bed and say three things we are grateful for. Our goal was to instill in them a habit to reflect on how much we have and for each other. Especially when two of them are not getting along particularly well, we want them to imagine what it would be like if they didn't have that sibling in their lives (sometimes they WISH that were the case), and what they could do differently to get along better.
As I get older, I am more grateful than ever. I realize I am so fortunate even during these tough economic times. In my middle age I realize more and more of my contemporaries are having health problems. I am getting emails about people a few years younger than me who just passed away. Good health is the one thing I am most grateful for, and the good health of my loved ones.
What I realize is, the more grateful I am, the more postive I am in my outlook on life. And that in turn seems to have a domino affect, branching out in every aspect of how I live my life. That alone seems to create a healthy attitude that money just can't buy.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, thanks for reading.
Ever since my children were very little, we started a tradition where we would all gather on the master bed and say three things we are grateful for. Our goal was to instill in them a habit to reflect on how much we have and for each other. Especially when two of them are not getting along particularly well, we want them to imagine what it would be like if they didn't have that sibling in their lives (sometimes they WISH that were the case), and what they could do differently to get along better.
As I get older, I am more grateful than ever. I realize I am so fortunate even during these tough economic times. In my middle age I realize more and more of my contemporaries are having health problems. I am getting emails about people a few years younger than me who just passed away. Good health is the one thing I am most grateful for, and the good health of my loved ones.
What I realize is, the more grateful I am, the more postive I am in my outlook on life. And that in turn seems to have a domino affect, branching out in every aspect of how I live my life. That alone seems to create a healthy attitude that money just can't buy.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, thanks for reading.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Mom, Please Can I Stop Piano Lessons?
These were the words my daughter uttered through tears. “Why do you want to stop?” I asked. She went on to explain that she is too busy—she has too much homework, soccer practice and besides all of that her brothers don’t have to play. These were all good points, however she has been playing for two years and it seemed a shame to let all of her hard work fall to the wayside. Reluctantly, my husband and I agreed that she could take a break. I must admit that paying for weekly lessons (which is not cheap by any means) and trying to crack the whip to practice was not much fun for me either. It was just another thing that I had to stay on top of. There have been many days when an hour before her lesson I realized she had not done her piano homework and we scrambled to get it done. I’m no help, I can’t read music anymore. I have a bad track record with music—at age 8 I quit the piano after 3 months, I stopped playing the flute after 6th grade and as an adult I made it through 6 weeks of guitar lessons. I wish I had stuck with one of those instruments. I guess that is why I want her to continue playing in some way, shape or form. I don’t want her to look back one day and regret that she stopped playing (this is a hard concept to explain to a 4th grader).
Fortunately, I happened to mention this dilemma to one of my friends. She had some terrific insights and advice. She recommended I try a different approach. Maybe it was time to switch teachers (her teacher was great BTW), try someone new with a different style. My friend helped me realize that even practicing with a high school student and just playing for the sake of playing might be best for my daughter right now. So this afternoon she is giving it a try. A high school friend is going to come over and help her practice the piano. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will work. That this will keep her interest going and that she’ll want to play and practice just because it is fun.
Share Your Story
Did your child take a break from piano lessons or did he/she stop altogether? At what point did you let he/she quit? Was it two years in, three? If they continued, what did you do to encourage them to keep going?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Romance of Science
My nephew recently wrote an article that he presented on KQED radio this morning. His topic is titled "The Romance of Science". It's exciting to hear my nephew speak about this topic and the intrigue not only of Love, but the LOVE of Science and the love of learning. With 3 daughters in public schools in California I'm keenly aware of the quality of education they get and how certain (few) teachers are able to raise the level of wonder and make learning exciting. I would not only agree with my nephew but also support the notion that learning and the on-going love of learning is something we should instill in our children and require out of our teachers. I am frustrated when I hear my child had a day of movie watching at school - especially when the movies are not even documentaries or 'learning' quality but some cartoon that was shown to give the teachers a break and entertain the children. This is where my taxes are going?
Take a listen to my nephew's oration. I'm vastly proud of my nephew, who went through some of the best public schools in the area and graduated from UC Berkeley (which I personally think is a tougher school than Stanford). http://www.kqed.org/epArchive/R811250737
Happy listening!
Take a listen to my nephew's oration. I'm vastly proud of my nephew, who went through some of the best public schools in the area and graduated from UC Berkeley (which I personally think is a tougher school than Stanford). http://www.kqed.org/epArchive/R811250737
Happy listening!
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Return of the Allowance
My kids have money on the brain. They want to shop, they want cash, they claim they want an allowance. We’ve gone down this road before. I have made the work charts, I’ve set the weekly wage, and half way through the week my kids grew tired of the idea. In a nutshell, they didn’t want to work hard for the money.
However, we are ready to give it another go. They seem committed. They are talking the talk. They want to fill their piggy banks. So, tonight at the dinner table we made Chore Chart V.3 (o.k. we’ve had a few false starts). We left off the things that the kids should do just because (you know, the room and board chores like cleaning their rooms, picking up the toys downstairs, making their beds). It was interesting to see who was keen to do what. One of my boys was more than willing to pick up our dog’s “presents” in the yard but drew the line when it came to organizing the shoes in the hallway. He was incensed by the idea of having to pick up his siblings shoes---go figure! The other challenge we had was making sure the list was fair. Tears started to flow, when one child thought his list was longer than the others—even though one of his jobs takes place only on the weekends (he’s in charge of the dog’s “presents” on the weekend). It is a tricky feat to make sure everything is fair.
The other interesting part of setting up Chore Chart V.3, was determining the weekly wage. The kids had all sorts of suggestions. “How about a quarter per chore?” suggested one child. “Nah, that is not worth it” chimed in another. We agreed on $2.00 per week, which seems like a deal to me. We’ll see how long it lasts. At least for today, the laundry has been folded, the bathrooms have been straightened, the entry way is clear and the “presents” have been picked up. We are off to a good start!
Share Your Story:
What are your ideas and thoughts on setting up an allowance? What is your weekly "wage", what types of things do your kids do and how successful has it been?
However, we are ready to give it another go. They seem committed. They are talking the talk. They want to fill their piggy banks. So, tonight at the dinner table we made Chore Chart V.3 (o.k. we’ve had a few false starts). We left off the things that the kids should do just because (you know, the room and board chores like cleaning their rooms, picking up the toys downstairs, making their beds). It was interesting to see who was keen to do what. One of my boys was more than willing to pick up our dog’s “presents” in the yard but drew the line when it came to organizing the shoes in the hallway. He was incensed by the idea of having to pick up his siblings shoes---go figure! The other challenge we had was making sure the list was fair. Tears started to flow, when one child thought his list was longer than the others—even though one of his jobs takes place only on the weekends (he’s in charge of the dog’s “presents” on the weekend). It is a tricky feat to make sure everything is fair.
The other interesting part of setting up Chore Chart V.3, was determining the weekly wage. The kids had all sorts of suggestions. “How about a quarter per chore?” suggested one child. “Nah, that is not worth it” chimed in another. We agreed on $2.00 per week, which seems like a deal to me. We’ll see how long it lasts. At least for today, the laundry has been folded, the bathrooms have been straightened, the entry way is clear and the “presents” have been picked up. We are off to a good start!
Share Your Story:
What are your ideas and thoughts on setting up an allowance? What is your weekly "wage", what types of things do your kids do and how successful has it been?
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Relatively Speaking
This week is the official kick-off to the holiday season, where many families look forward to get-togethers for special holidays, like Thanksgiving. But this time of year can also be anxiety-filled for certain family members who get tense with the anticipation of seeing relatives they aren't particularly compatible with. The disjointedness and dysfunction we each possess seem to come out in full swing during the holidays. What do you do in cases where a spouse or sibling doesn't get along with your mother or father for instance? How do you ease the tension at the dinner table when one family member raves about Obama and your brother says "Obama-Obrother!" Many movies have played up this scenrio, a few movies are coming out this season including "Four Christmases" starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon and an Indie film called "Familiar Strangers". These movies provide a great platform for seeing the issues many families have around the holidays and relative family dysfunction.
I recently had a discussion with my children about tolerance. Sometimes they come home complaining about someone in their class and I have to be sure I put the objective parental hat on and say "OK now, let's try and be tolerant of that person. Perhaps there is a reason they are that way." And oftentimes there is a very valid reason and we try to analyze what it could be. It has helped my children understand to look beyond the exterior. But at what point do you and your children realize, - some people are more difficult to get along with than others? Some people don't have a good social radar and do not know how to behave in a larger group. The chances are that if someone is hard to get along with, there are others that are feeling the same thing about that person and pretty soon, that person is labeled. What's the best way to react in those situations?
From my own experience, it takes time - time to get over your own dysfunction and time to see another person and what it took to make them who they are. When you can see that a piece of their history created their insecurity or quirk, it helps build bridges toward empathy and perhaps appreciation. But not all stories have happy endings, and sometimes it is what it is. In those cases, I guess it's good to know that there are goodbyes to all of these family reunions so that we can each go back to our regular post-holiday lives.
I recently had a discussion with my children about tolerance. Sometimes they come home complaining about someone in their class and I have to be sure I put the objective parental hat on and say "OK now, let's try and be tolerant of that person. Perhaps there is a reason they are that way." And oftentimes there is a very valid reason and we try to analyze what it could be. It has helped my children understand to look beyond the exterior. But at what point do you and your children realize, - some people are more difficult to get along with than others? Some people don't have a good social radar and do not know how to behave in a larger group. The chances are that if someone is hard to get along with, there are others that are feeling the same thing about that person and pretty soon, that person is labeled. What's the best way to react in those situations?
From my own experience, it takes time - time to get over your own dysfunction and time to see another person and what it took to make them who they are. When you can see that a piece of their history created their insecurity or quirk, it helps build bridges toward empathy and perhaps appreciation. But not all stories have happy endings, and sometimes it is what it is. In those cases, I guess it's good to know that there are goodbyes to all of these family reunions so that we can each go back to our regular post-holiday lives.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Tracking and Managing Grades--Who Should Do It?
Our school district has a great online tool that allows students and parents to check grades in real time. Want to see if a homework assignment is turned in? Just check the site. Want to see what grade your child got on Tuesday’s math test? Just log-in. Overall, I think this is a great tool and I feel fortunate to know how my child is doing before the report card comes home. But the problem is this site can become addicting and can get a mother who is prone to worrying to worry even more. I keep reminding myself that this is designed to help students keep track of their progress--that it is my son who should be checking in to see where his grade stands—not just me.
We encourage our son to look at the site at least 2 or 3 times a week. We want him to take ownership of his successes and failures. We want him to realize that he has the ability to bring up his grades before it is too late. It is a new concept to a 6th grader, especially for one who tends to be pretty laid back about his grades. So far, the online tool is working. He is becoming responsible and interested in how he is doing, which is a huge step for him. I try not to look so often. I try to remind myself that this is HIS grade—that I need to let go and this is a huge step for me.
We encourage our son to look at the site at least 2 or 3 times a week. We want him to take ownership of his successes and failures. We want him to realize that he has the ability to bring up his grades before it is too late. It is a new concept to a 6th grader, especially for one who tends to be pretty laid back about his grades. So far, the online tool is working. He is becoming responsible and interested in how he is doing, which is a huge step for him. I try not to look so often. I try to remind myself that this is HIS grade—that I need to let go and this is a huge step for me.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
College Application Trepidation
November is not only the season of Thanksgiving, but in my household with a high school senior in our midst, it is also a busy time filling out numerous college applications and writing essays. Both private and public college applications are due this month, which on top of an already harried and stressful schedule makes for one intense month. The other day my husband and I were out walking our golden and came across another dog-walker we often see. She has a son at our same high school and she really needed to take her walk. She was so uptight about the stress in her household you could sense it a mile away. She wasn't listening to the questions we were asking her about her dog, but went on and on to say how stressed her son is, how much she didn't like the pressure he was under, and it seemed the stress her son had just fell onto her own lap.
Should this time of year be this stressful for our children who are in the process of making their next big step in the world? The economy isn't helping either, that's for sure. Originally our goal was to see if our daughter could get into a UC school (for those of you anywhere else but California, UC stands for the University of California system, which includes prestigious schools such as UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC Davis, etc.). But now we are rethinking our own daughter's future based on the economic conditions, so much of our college savings plan was tied to our portfolio - sure wish we had a financial crystal ball right now. I sure hope a recovery is in the near future. Looking at our portfolio is as difficult as writing a college essay. If she does get accepted at a UC, we may still opt for a state college, which fortunately does have a great program for her intended major.
I'm just glad I wasn't wound as tightly as the woman we saw when we were taking a walk with our golden. In my opinion, the college application process and stresses it brings about are higher than they need to be. I had a mellow experience myself when I applied to college. At one point I wasn't even considering going to college but my older sister talked some sense into me. Looking back, 17-18 years old seems so young to really know what your interests are.
I'm just wondering - what will this experience be like for my grandchildren?
Should this time of year be this stressful for our children who are in the process of making their next big step in the world? The economy isn't helping either, that's for sure. Originally our goal was to see if our daughter could get into a UC school (for those of you anywhere else but California, UC stands for the University of California system, which includes prestigious schools such as UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC Davis, etc.). But now we are rethinking our own daughter's future based on the economic conditions, so much of our college savings plan was tied to our portfolio - sure wish we had a financial crystal ball right now. I sure hope a recovery is in the near future. Looking at our portfolio is as difficult as writing a college essay. If she does get accepted at a UC, we may still opt for a state college, which fortunately does have a great program for her intended major.
I'm just glad I wasn't wound as tightly as the woman we saw when we were taking a walk with our golden. In my opinion, the college application process and stresses it brings about are higher than they need to be. I had a mellow experience myself when I applied to college. At one point I wasn't even considering going to college but my older sister talked some sense into me. Looking back, 17-18 years old seems so young to really know what your interests are.
I'm just wondering - what will this experience be like for my grandchildren?
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